Franglais

Lost in translation across the Channel

France might be just across the English Channel from Britain, but Emma Jane Kirby says both nations are still prone to the pitfalls of linguistic misunderstandings.

Last weekend, standing on Pegasus bridge in Normandy for the D-Day celebrations, I was touched to see two classes of French primary school children singing the British national anthem in honour of the veterans.

As I went closer, I realised with delight that while they had got the tune off pat, the words were just slightly off the mark.

Standing tall and proud, the children were calling on the Almighty to "sieve the Queen and her setter, Victoria."

It took me straight back to my own school days when I had learned to sing the nursery rhyme Frere Jacques.

For many years I had warned *Frere Jacques to wake up not because the morning bells were ringing (sonnez les matines), but because there was *"sunny semolina" to be had.

'Yoghurting'

Even in your own language, it is difficult to catch accurately the words of a song if they are not written down in front of you, and in France, which imports most of its music from the US or UK, there is even a word for the appropriation of lyrics.

It is "yaourt", or "to yoghurt".

You start singing confidently... and then trail off into inarticulate "yoghurting" when your lexicon runs dry.

As far as I understand it, so long as you look slightly pained and shut your eyes while you yoghurt, you seem to get away with it.

Some years ago, an Irish friend of mine was on a French exchange in Paris and was hanging out with some of the local teenagers.

Desperate to impress her, they began to reel off their repertoire of English songs.

They said their favourite was a hit by Queen that they had picked up on the radio - I believe the original version was called I Want to Break Free - but unfortunately, the boys knew only the yoghurt version.

Although retaining the original passion, it had lost a little of the sense. It went: I Want a Steak Frites, I Want a Steak Frites.

'Simply hysterical'

Mispronunciations can have embarrassing consequences.

A French friend of mine, preparing a few snacks to hand round at an English drinks party, implored her guests to help themselves to nipples.

My father once returned from a trip to France complaining bitterly that the French had just laughed at him when he had tried to ask for directions to the railway station.

A few probing questions revealed that he had not asked for la gare at all - he had asked for la guerre (the war) - and the locals were simply hysterical at the idea of this white-haired, would-be combatant showing up for duty 65 years too late.

But it can happen to the best of us.

Madame de Gaulle was said to have been lunching with the American ambassador at the time of her husband's retirement when she was asked what she was most looking forward to in the years ahead.

She thought for a moment before announcing boldly: "A penis". A startled hush fell over the table until the former president leant over and said: "My dear, I think it's pronounced 'happiness'."

Speak in French, wrote Lewis Carroll in Through the Looking Glass, when you cannot remember the English for a thing.

But there are many faux amis (false friends) to be wary of in English and French.

'Slip of the ear'

You can flatter a French woman by telling she looks formidable in her new dress, but tell an English woman she looks formidable in her new frock and she will quickly go and change.

And that one wrong word can do untold damage.

In English, looking and watching are two different things. In French, one word - regarder - will cover you for both.

My American friend Janet, on holiday in Montana with her French husband Eddy, suggested he wandered around the shops while she tried on her zillionth pair of shoes.

After a few minutes spent in a bed linen store he was approached by the female assistant who asked him if he needed any help.

"No thanks, I am just watching," he smiled, and was puzzled as she backed off slowly, desperately fumbling for her phone.

The other day I was reading an article in a French newspaper about how we regularly mishear words, particularly in foreign languages, and how that completely changes our comprehension of the conversation.

The writer spoke of a British acquaintance of his who was struck when he arrived in France by how much the French seemed to talk about Johnny Marr, the Smiths' guitarist.

Until the writer realised what his friend was actually hearing was "J'en ai marre (I'm sick of it)".

He went on in his article to inform his readers that the English even had a phrase for such a misunderstanding. It was called, he said confidently, a "slip of the ear*".

Source: BBC News

Idioms:



The idiom is normally a "slip of the tongue". This means that you say something that you didn't intend to say; a mistake in speaking.

A Freudian slip is also something that you say by accident which is different from what you intended to say but seems to show your true thoughts.

Many slips of the tongue / Freudian slips can be heard on you tube; most of them a bit rude. Here is one from Gordon Brown when he was PM and he claims to have "saved the world".

I also made the same mistake as a child with the song "Frere Jacques" Another school favourite was "Alouette". Here is a clip from "Tom and Jerry" in French. I love when the little mouse says "Bonjour Monsieur Pussy Cat".

English language domination

New lingua franca upsets French

That the French resent the global supremacy of the English language is nothing new, but as Hugh Schofield finds out, a newly evolved business-speak version is taking over.

They were giving out the annual Prix de la Carpette Anglaise the other day. Literally it means the English Rug Prize, but doormat would be the better translation.

As the citation explains, the award goes to the French person or institution who has given the best display of "fawning servility" to further the insinuation into France of the accursed English language.

Among the runners-up this year: the supermarket company Carrefour ­which changed the name of its Champion chain of stores to Carrefour Market, not using the French word "marche".

Also the provocatively-named Paris band Nelson (it is the Admiral, not Mr Mandela, that they have in mind) whose frontman J.B. sings in English because, he says, French does not have the right cadences for true rock.

Worst offender

But topping the poll for grave disservices to the mother tongue is France's higher education minister, Valerie Pecresse.

Her crime: proclaiming to the press that she had no intention of speaking French when attending European meetings in Brussels, because, she said, it was quite obvious that English was now the easiest mode of communication.

The rise and rise of the English language is a sensitive subject for many here in France, who believe that French has every bit as much right to be considered a global tongue.

Even conceding to English victory in the war for linguistic supremacy, the French believe that the least they can do is defend their own territory and keep the ghastly invader at a decent remove.

The same group that sponsors the Prix de la Carpette also brings legal actions against companies that, it says, breach the law, for example, by not issuing French language versions of instructions to staff.

Personally, I sympathise greatly with defenders of the French language. I think it is true that culturally the world will be diminished if one monolithic form of discourse squashes the rest. But then I am also a realist.

Recently I have spent a lot of time in French multinational companies, and what is inescapable is the stranglehold that English already has on the world of business here.

French executives draft reports, send e-mails, converse with their international colleagues - and increasingly even amongst themselves - in English.

It is of course a kind of bastardised, runty form of business-speak full of words like "drivers" and "deliverables" and "outcomes" to be "valorised", but is nonetheless quite definitely not French.

New language

This brings me to Jean-Paul Nerriere.

Monsieur Nerriere is a retired French businessman who one day in the course of his work made a fascinating observation.

In a meeting with colleagues from around the world, including an Englishman, a Korean and a Brazilian, he noticed that he and the other non-native English speakers were communicating in a form of English that was completely comprehensible to them, but which left the Englishman nonplussed.

He, Jean-Paul Nerriere, could talk to the Korean and the Brazilian in this neo-language, and they could understand each other perfectly.

But the Englishman was left out because his language was too subtle, too full of meaning that could not be grasped by the others.

In other words, Monsieur Nerriere concluded, a new form of English is developing around the world, used by people for whom it is their second language.

It may not be the most beautiful of tongues, but in this day and age he says it is indispensible. He calls the language Globish and urges everyone - above all the French - to learn it tout de suite.

In his book Don't Speak English, Parlez Globish, Monsieur Nerriere sets out the rules.

Globish has only 1,500 words and users must avoid humour, metaphor, abbreviation and anything else that can cause cross-cultural confusion.

They must speak slowly and in short sentences. Funnily enough, he holds up the late Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat as an excellent exponent.

Many in France consider Monsieur Nerriere a traitor for promoting the dreaded Anglais, but he insists he is not.

He says the French have to recognise that the language war is lost.

"We're just urinating on the ashes of the fire," he says. We should look on Globish not as a triumphant cultural vehicle for les Anglo-Saxons, but as a tool, he says: essential but purely utilitarian.

For lovers of English there is another consideration, only half-serious I admit. But what if this were all a devious Gallic plot?

After all, if Globish really does take over the planet with its stunted business-speak, its bland insignificance, its cultureless access-for-all availability, then where does that leave the real English?

Will the language of Shakespeare suffer by association, leaving the field open one day for the resurgence of the other great tongues of the world ? Like French?

Source: BBC News

That's bloody awful!

SWEARING NOW THE BLIGHT OF BRITAIN

Swearing has become the curse of modern British life, with the vast majority of us no longer offended by bad language, according to shocking new research.

Influenced by television, more than nine out of 10 adults now admit to swearing every day. And those who do not are often too fearful to challenge those who do.

The average Briton now swears a staggering 14 times a day, with 90 per cent of the adult population no longer fazed by the use of expletives. Our behaviour is heavily influenced by the increased use of bad language on television, say critics. They want the Government to tighten controls.

Broadcaster Esther Rantzen said last night: “Every body would agree that there is too much swearing on television and something has to change.”

Esther, who is patron of the Campaign for Courtesy, added: “It is becoming ludicrous and banal. We don’t want society to go that way too.”

John Beyer, of Mediawatch UK, said: “This sort of language is damaging our culture and the way we speak to each other. Children as young as four, five and six are copying it and it is undermining our language. There is no place for unnecessary swearing on television.”

Chef Gordon Ramsay and controversial presenter Jonathan Ross are among the worst culprits. And just last week chef Jamie Oliver had to apologise for swearing during an episode of his Ministry of Food series. He used the F-word no fewer than 23 times in 50 minutes.

Conservative MP and Daily Express columnist Ann Widdecombe said: “I think it is clear that the amount of swearing in society has been enormously influenced by the amount of swearing on television, in films and even in books. The fact remains that there are many people who do not like casual and consistent swearing and are offended by it when they hear it in public. But these days sometimes all you can do is stare in disbelief when you hear this kind of language.”

Peter Foot, chairman of the Campaign for Courtesy, said there was still an appetite for good manners.

“Swearing has become too habitual, but I think if you walk down most suburban streets and knock on the door, people are actually generally still polite.”

Britain is generally seen as a conservative nation but a survey of more 2,000 people found that just eight per cent are now offended by swearing, as long as it is in an adult context.

The detailed study by the Aust ralian company www.Nulon-uk.com found a clear link between a person’s age and their views on swearing.

Ninety-four per cent of those aged 18-30 said bad language was no longer even an issue, while just 79 per cent of people aged 50-60 agreed.

According to the research, men are more foul-mouthed than women, with 90 per cent swearing on a daily basis compared with 83 per cent of women.

Perhaps most shockingly, some 78 per cent of people admitted to swearing regularly for no reason whatsoever, while the overwhelming majority – 98 per cent – admitted they swore when they lost their temper. William Findlay, who compiled the report, said: “This survey clearly shows that British people accept that swearing is a fact of life in today’s society. The fact that nearly every one of the 2,319 people polled has sworn while angry shows that British attitudes towards conservatism in public are changing.”

Greg Simons, joint managing dir ector of Nulon, said: “To find out that the average Briton swears 14 times a day is a real eye-opener. The results clearly show that swearing is a fact of life in today’s society, both at home and in the workplace.

“I have witnessed swearing at all times of the day at all levels of society, from children to police officers. Britain seems to be a nation that just can’t be shocked.”

Source: Daily Express

What's your opinion on the level of swearing in society? Do you think there is too much unnecessary bad language on TV? Do you think that the article is all just a fuss about nothing?

I personally dislike it when females swear. Am I old fashioned?

I usually only swear when I am angry. I often swear when I am driving as it really stresses me out. When do you use bad language?

An interesting read?

Man reads entire Oxford English Dictionary

The Oxford English Dictionary is not everyone's idea of a page turner.

But a man has just completed the mammoth, if not bizarre, task of reading the 22,000-page tome cover to cover.

Ammon Shea, 37, who has been dissecting dictionaries since the age of 10, spent a year absorbing 59 million words, from A to Zyxt - the equivalent of reading a John Grisham novel every day.

Cooped up in the basement of his local library, the removal man from New York would devote up to 10 hours a day painstakingly making his way through all 20 volumes of the OED - helped by cup after cup of very strong coffee.

Every time he came across an interesting word, he jotted it down, fearful that he would not remember its meaning.

Among his favourite discoveries were obmutescence (willfully quiet), hypergelast (a person who won't stop laughing), natiform (shaped like buttocks) and deipnosophist (a person who is learned in the art of dining.)

He admitted there were times when he almost gave up, frustrated at not being familiar with any of the words on the page.

In his new book, Reading the Oxford English Dictionary: One Man, One Year, 21,730 Pages, he recalls a low point when he started learning words beginning with the letter N.

"Some days I feel as if I do not actually speak the English language, or understand it with any degree of real comprehension," he said.

"It is as if I am visiting a foreign country, armed with one of those silly little tourist phrase book...I may know enough to order a cup of coffee or inquire where the bathroom is."

By the time he reached the 400 pages devoted to words beginning with "un", he said he was "near catatonic, bored out of my mind, and so listless I can't remember why I wanted to read any of this in the first place.

"At this point, telling myself, 'You only have 351 pages of un-words to go', does not seem helpful. I don't quite feel as though I have lost my mind, but it often seems as though it is on vacation somewhere else, just east of sanity."

Why anyone would choose to put themselves through such a task is a question Mr Shea is often asked.

As a self-confessed lover of words who owns a thousand dictionaries, he said that reading the entire OED was a challenge he set himself many years ago.

"The OED, more so than any other dictionary, encompasses the entire history of all English's glories and foibles, the grand concepts and whimsical conceits that make our language what it is today," he said.

"It's a great read. It is much more engrossing, enjoyable and moving to read than you would typically think a non-narrative body of text could ever possibly be."

Source: Daily Telegraph

Pronunciation Problems

Why 'phenonemon' is the most troublesome word in the English language

Ever been refused that much-needed pay rise? Perhaps it's because you didn't ask in the right way.

It seems that many of us have trouble getting our tongue around the word 'remuneration'.

But there are many more troublesome hurdles in the language.

'Phenomenon' is the most mispronounced word, research shows, with its succession of 'm' and 'n' sounds presenting the greatest difficulty.

'Anaesthetist' also causes problems due to the tricky mixture of 'th' and 't' noises.

'Remuneration', which is often heard in its mangled form 'renumeration', came in third in the study of 3,000 Britons.

And the fourth most difficult word to pronounce, according to the poll, was ' statistics'.

However, it may be a case of back to the drawing board for some, who admitted they often struggle with common words like 'February' - which appeared in 12th place in the list.

A spokesman for Spinvox - a voicemail to text message service - which carried out the research, said: 'Many words are difficult to say and when we struggle to pronounce a word correctly it makes us self-conscious about the way we speak.

'There are some real tongue-twisters in the list and it's understandable how many people can get confused when pronouncing certain words.

'We're fascinated by the way people speak as our automatic voice-to-text conversion system has to accurately convert the different ways that people talk - including common mispronunciation.

'This means people can be confident that a written message will be authentic and contain the essence of their voice.'

But researchers also stressed that mispronunciation was no laughing matter for many.

Almost half of those who confessed to frequent errors said they suffered embarrassment as a result.

More than a third even avoided using troublesome words to save face.

But 43 per cent of people admit they often correct mispronunciation in others, and - perhaps encouragingly for the tongue-tied - only a quarter of people think it shows a lack of intelligence.

Source: Daily Mail

Make a (short) list of the words that you have difficulty pronouncing.

Spelling Problems

The 20 simple words Brits are unable to spell because we are all text mad

Millions of adults are unable to spell basic everyday words, a study suggests.

Of 2,500 surveyed, 40 per cent could not spell "questionnaire", 38 per cent were *stumped by "accommodate" and 37 per cent were defeated by "definitely".

Around a third of those questioned were unable to spell "liaison", "existence" or "occurrence".

Other simple words which caused problems were "calendar", "embarrass", "library" and "receipt".

Two-thirds blamed their inability to get words right on the predictive text function on their mobile phones.

Despite the embarrassing results, almost a third claimed their spelling was excellent, while 46 per cent said it was good.

Alarmingly, 14 per cent did not think it was important to spell properly, and 11 per cent were not bothered by colleagues' spelling mistakes.

Twenty per cent said they avoided writing documents by hand because their spelling was poor, and 59 per cent said they relied on their computer's spell checker to get things right - even though some are programmed with American English.

Six per cent said their spelling was so bad they had lost a job because of it.

The study was carried out on behalf of www.whitesmoke.com, which provides software to help with English grammar and writing.

A spokesman said: "It's worrying how weak our spelling has become, especially with regard to simple, everyday words.

"It's interesting to see that despite getting basic words wrong, a huge majority still regard their spelling skills as excellent or good.

"It's inexcusable to see badly-written documents in a work environment. If something isn't done in this generation, spelling standards will only decline further."

The Plain English campaign said: "People seem less inclined to consider correct spelling important.

"When we spell words incorrectly, it is bound to cause confusion and make writing more difficult to read."

The 20 simple words Brits are unable to spell:

1. Questionnaire 2. Accommodate 3. Definitely 4. Liaison 5. Existence 6. Occurrence 7. Referring 8. Occurred 9. Millennium 10. Embarrass 11. Calendar 12. Receive 13. Necessary 14. Separate 15. Cemetery 16. Library 17. Accidentally 18. Independent 19. Occasionally 20. Receipt

Sorce: Daily Mail

I admit that the odd word from the list would occassionally create problems for me. My spelling has got worse, the longer I have been living abroad. I have made some embarassing spelling mistakes in the classroom. Once I corrected "restaurant" in an exam paper, while another time I wrote "off course" on the board when I meant to write "of course". Such simple mistakes.

(By the way, I made the above mistakes on purpose!)

*Vocabulary Focus

if you are *stumped you really don't have a clue what the correct answer is.

if you are stuck, you don't know the answer because it is too difficult.

• I'm stuck with number 7. Can you give me a clue?

if you are baffled, you are extremely confused and nowhere near the solution.

• The police are baffled by the murder. They don't have any suspects and can't find any motives.

Lost in Translation

Have a read of these mistranslations. Do you get all of them? What did they really mean to say?

1. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.


2. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.


3. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.


4. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.


5. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.


6. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.


7. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.


8. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.


9. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.


10. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.


11. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.


12. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.


13. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.


14. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.


15. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.


16. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.


17. Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.


18. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.


19. In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.


20. A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.


21. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.


22. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.


23. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.


24. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.


25. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.


26. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?


27. On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.


28. In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.


29. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.


30. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.


31. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.


32. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.


33. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.


34. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.


35. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.


36. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.


37. At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.


38. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.


39. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.


40. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.


41. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
    Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.


42. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.


43. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
    - English well talking.
    - Here speeching American.